Dear Powerbar Gel...Why Do You Make Me Want to Hurl?

Joy here...About a week ago The Man and I were in a sporting goods store because we wanted to buy compression stockings. Research suggests that compression socks and tights can help boost recovery, and all sorts of sporty, IronMan and Tour de France type people are using them. So we figured that as we train for this 1/2 marathon, maybe we should each get a pair so that we can sit around with these "magic" socks on that will help to reduce the muscle fatigue and pain in our legs. And, heck, I'm all for something that helps me to feel better if all it involves is sitting around! That sounds like just the product for me. While we were in the store trying on various compression socks to see which ones we preferred, we started chatting up the saleswoman. She was one of those people who could have been anywhere between 30 and 50 years old, but what was clear is that she was in damn good shape. I mean, she was the sort whose biceps I couldn't stop staring at -- heck, she even had biceps! Do you know how hard it is to get defined biceps? We also noticed a little IronMan tattoo on the back of one of her calves, so we knew that she was a serious triathlete, and we started asking her for training advice. She is also running the same 1/2 marathon in October that we're signed up for, and some of her advice made a heck of a lot of sense to me. One of the things that she said is that it's a good idea to look up what sorts of hydration and fuel your particular race will be using, and then to use that in your training. That way, if you have issues with whatever fluids the race uses, you'll know long in advance and won't spend your entire race in the port-a-potty. Bearing this little tid bit of genius in mind, today I went out to the local running store to stock up on Powerbar Gels, apparently the fuel that will be on offer at our 1/2 marathon event in October. Normally, I use chocolate flavoured GUs. These little GUs are awesome. I really can't find words to describe just how wonderful it can feel when you find yourself 45 minutes into a run and you get to treat yourself with something that looks and tastes JUST LIKE CHOCOLATE PUDDING! I mean, can you get much better than that? So in buying the new Powerbar Gels, I figured that one sport fuel would be much like any other, and bought the chocolate flavoured ones. Armed with my new chocolate Powerbar Gel, loaded down with water, and lathered with sunscreen, I was set and ready to head out the door for my long run of this week. Even though my last long run was only on Sunday, and today is only Friday, the weather is quite reasonable today (a breezy 20 C), and I figured that I'd much rather run today than in the usual 30++ C temperatures that we've been treated to lately.

Okay, so out the door with fuel in hand and ready to go...

...so far so good...

...then after a 30 minute warm up of "easy" running (approx. 5:50-6:00min/km) our plan was to pick up the pace to what is called "M pace" (with the "M" standing for "marathon pace," approx. 5:20-5:30min/km or quicker). About 15 minutes into this increased pace, I looked to my watch and realized "yahoo...it's chocolate pudding time!" So I opened the zipper on my fuel belt, pulled out my new, little Powerbar Gel, ripped off the top of the package, and proceeded to squeeze all the contents into my mouth...

...big mistake! ACK! This stuff doesn't taste like chocolate! Ugh! I'm going to hurl by the side of the canal! I can't even describe how gross it was to have some kind of sticky substance in my mouth that tasted like a mixture of mocha + black liquorice + sickly aspartame. I immediately started swilling water and spitting out watery brown stuff in the grass by the side of the running path. It wasn't ladylike; it wasn't lovely; and I bet it was pretty gross to watch. To be frank, I really don't care. That Powerbar Gel was the most vile thing that I've eaten in a long, long time. And, please, Nomi, comment here to point out that I'm not a squeamish eater. I mean, I'm not fussy usually, so if it's so bad that it makes me spit it out at the side of the road, then you KNOW it must be gross. Trust me, if you ever get into running. Buy yourself some chocolate flavoured GUs and stay the heck away from the Powerbar Gels. I'm gonna return the unopened ones to the running shop and tell them just how gross they were.

That disgusting experience really overshadowed anything and everything else that happened in today's run. The fact that it also gave me a post-Powerbar Gel cramp didn't help matters either. But the truth of the matter is that today's run did exactly what it was supposed to do. It started off with 30 minutes of "easy" running, and then was followed by 60 minutes of "M pace" running (average of 5:20ish min/km!), and then concluded with 20 minutes of "easy" running to cool down. All of those minutes added up to over 18kms! So even with the sickening faux-chocolate poop in my mouth, I was still able to clock my longest run to date!

Here are today's run stats:

Ran for a total of 1:42:45 for a total distance of 18.68km with an average pace of 5:30min/km.

If you're counting, that means that I've done two (yes TWO) runs of 18++ kms this week alone! Yahooooooo! Next week I'm going to do that again, but I'm going to be armed with my chocolate flavoured GU. And for the 1/2 marathon, you better believe that I'm going to just bring my own GUs and leave the race-provided Powerbar Gels for the rest of the suckas!

Now I'm going to put on my compression socks, put my feet up, and take it easy for the rest of the evening.

Over and out,

Joy